Reviving the Trunk: An unexpected conversation with Jack Hammer

Hey, back again.  You know it's really funny when you start focusing on a topic and then it seems like things pop up (or don't) in your life that are related to the topic that you are writing about.  If this continues, I am going to have a really interesting month to share with you!  I will have to check my social media feeds and see what is popping up on there as we all know our phone is listening to us (and maybe reading our minds- but I can't even go there). 

So, last night I was talking with a friend who called out of the blue.  He is mid 50s and of average build.  I have it on personal experience from a few years ago that he is well endowed and that he doesn't have any trunk issues.  We shared some fabulous times and due to our previous intimacy I decided it would be okay for me to ask him about his trunk.  Of course I prefaced my questions by telling him about my blog topic and promised him anonymity if he was willing to share.  Surprisingly, he didn't seem all that bothered by whether he would be anonymous.  Given that men are obsessed with their trunk size and given that his was abundantly, splendidly working- maybe I shouldn't be surprised!

I am going to call him Jack Hammer as it seems appropriate and kinda fun as an alias.  And, there may be a small jab (see, another pun intended) in that nickname on top of the compliment, but that would digress to a whole other series that I may have to write one day. 

Of course the first question I asked Jack was whether he had ever experienced any erectile dysfunction in his life.  He readily admitted to having an unsatisfactory trunk a few times.  The first experience he chalked up to drinking too much in college and having really high nerves over being with his college crush.  After his trunk didn't make it to the experience, they actually dated for over a year.  He never had the issue again with her and they never talked about it.  

Fast forward a few years and Jack was now somewhat happily married with two little kids.  He said he and his wife were busy, money was tight, he wasn't exercising and he had gained some weight.  Their sex life took a back seat and when they did have time for a romp it was unexciting and stressful.  Jack actually admitted that his tired and grumpy self just couldn't always muster the will to extend to his trunk.  His wife took it personally and seemed to shy away from the bed even more. 

I know that almost all the women's articles I have read have stated that it is not the woman's fault if a man is experiencing ED. And, I tend to agree with that overall.  If you have gained a few pounds, aged a few years, dropped a little weight, etc. that does not mean that it goes directly to a man's trunk and deflates it.  When I talk to my female friends who are experiencing this with their man, the inevitable question comes up- "Is he just not attracted to me?" Look, if a man was attracted enough to pick you up, then it is not your issue.  And, if you are in a relationship then chances are that no matter what your outer body changes are, your man is attracted to you on many levels and it is not your fault.  I am also going to go outside the norm here and state that while women aren't usually to blame some major communication needs to take place.  If you and your partner cherish one another you will be able to have honest and open dialogue about your sex life.  It is best if this happens outside the bedroom and not immediately after an incident has occurred.  A man will appreciate a woman making sure that she is attractive to her man.  This is not body shaming  and there are many body types that are attractive to men. While women go straight to their outward, physical appearance, they should also be aware that their demeanor and attitude also makes them attractive to their man.  Knowing what traits you possess that are not as desirable and showing a willingness to work on them will only enhance your intimate moments.  I am calling out woman to be just as invested as their man is when it comes to increasing desire. 

Back to Jack.  As we talked more about this time period he admitted to me that he did feel less desire physically for his wife.  And, he stated that he knew he had also slipped in taking care of his body and felt less attractive, but somehow he felt that it was more acceptable for men.  I didn't interrupt him, but I do want to note that I have found this to be true all too often in our societal expectations and interactions.  I asked Jack if he sought medical help or solutions when he was experiencing ED.  He never did.  Largely because it was embarrassing and he just kinda hoped it would go away on its own.  And he and his wife talked about it briefly and although he doesn't remember the exact conversation the general gist was she felt he just wasn't attracted to her anymore.  He felt even more pressure to reassure her it wasn't her and he felt a little frustrated that he couldn't be as open as he felt he should be about the topic. However, life got a little better, their sex life improved a little and they continued on without any issues until their marriage broke apart about 7 years later.

Jack then entered the single scene in his 40s.  He was a part time single parent, looking for a little fun and hoping to eventually find a new partner.  He said things went along just fine with his trunk saluting the various women as they briefly or semi-permanently entered his life.  Until he hit his late 40s.  At that point Jack began to notice a decline in his sexual interest.  He said he also felt lethargic and depressed and chalked it up to normal aging and life.  But, then during a solo performance his trunk didn't show up and a few weeks later this happened again.  Jack was freaked out and at this point he sought medical attention.  His doc pronounced him fine and said that these things happen to men as they age, nothing to worry about. He offered a Viagra prescription, just in case.  Jack, being  rather fond of his trunk, decided to delve deeper as he wasn't willing to accept this answer, and he wasn't sure he wanted to take a drug just to perform a normal body function. He started reading up on ED and discovered many things.  So, he started working out, eating healthier, practicing some self care (in this case golf) and drinking less alcohol.  Enter a special woman and things were going rompingly well until one night they didn't.  But this woman didn't ignore the issue.  Over coffee in the morning she asked him about his blood pressure (which thanks to diet and exercise had improved to normal levels) and then his testosterone.  Jack decided to take her advice and get checked.  

Here is where it got interesting.  Jack's doctor explained that low testosterone was not singularly the cause of ED.  However, Hypogonadism occurs when the body's sex glands (gonads) produce little or no hormones. In men, these glands are the testes.  To treat this, the patient is given testosterone treatments to increase testosterone which increases hormone production which in turn increases sexual appetite, energy levels, and the ability to build muscle mass and bone density. According to Jack he started rubbing a testosterone cream on his arm and started immediately feeling more energy, his depression declined and he has not had any additional floppy trunk symptoms in the bedroom.  Which he made sure to mention- and because he had been so open and helpful, I assured him that I remembered fondly that his trunk saluted extraordinarily.

I didn't even plan to write this article as low testosterone/hypogonadism isn't even cited as one of the leading causes of ED, and I planned to talk about the more prevalent causes first.  But, then this conversation happened placing a detour sign that I was supposed to go here.  We will certainly talk more in depth about testosterone and what to do if yours is low. Studies have shown that men's testosterone has been decreasing at a rate of about 1% a year. It is definitely a top factor in men's health and should be monitored.  

If you have any of the symptoms of low T noted below, be sure to have your levels checked.  

• Reduced sex drive.
• Reduced erectile function.
• Loss of body hair.
• Less beard growth.
• Loss of lean muscle mass.
• Feeling very tired all the time (fatigue)
• Obesity (being overweight)
• Symptoms of depression.

In the meantime if you are looking for some natural ways to boost your testosterone here are some things you can do:

• Lose weight/maintain ideal body weight
• Increase muscle mass through resistance exercise
• Avoiding developing diabetes
• Exercise regularly
• Sleep well
• Avoid tobacco products
• Avoid excessive alcohol
• Avoid opioid pain medications
• Reduce stress

Once you know what your Testosterone levels are, then you can decide if you need to look at additional ways to increase these levels in your body.  And we will have some information about how you can do that when you are ready.