Well I made it 24 hours without having a single unexpected conversation with someone about ED. I have to admit I am a little disappointed. But, it does allow me to talk about another past experience that I had when I was 30. I was dating a guy I had known growing up. He and I finally got around to messing around. And, shocker, he had a trunk that didn't want to see me. That is really how I felt.
Let me give you a little background. In high school I played soccer and was super fit and this guy made it a point to let me know that he wished I still looked like that now. After a baby and a heartbreaking breakup, a non-existent workout program, a less than stellar diet and a pretty stressful job, my body wasn't a priority and it showed. I was puzzled and asked why he was dating me if that was the case and he assured me that he thought I was beautiful (my face anyway) and that he liked and wanted to date me. (Weird, looking back on how I handled all of that, but I am grateful we change as we grow up!)
My initial reaction was the assumption that his lack of attraction to me naked was the issue and it was a solid blow to my self esteem. So, I put my big girl panties on and had a conversation with him about it. (Teaching sex ed to 4th-8th graders will give you the confidence to talk to anyone about sex!) He assured me that he was attracted to me. I didn't believe him. He then confessed to me that he had been experiencing this problem since he was in his early 20s. Shocked, I asked him what the doctor said about it. Less shocking, he had never talked to his doc about it. I really couldn't believe it. I knew this guy, we had been casual friends for years. He had dated a girl for 4 years. And, when I asked him about their sexual relationship, he said that he had issues often so their sex life was basically non-existent. And, THEY NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT. Is anyone thinking this is a huge case of "elephant in the room" (or not). At this point I was in full on empathy mode. I mean here was a good looking guy, fit, in his early 30s and he had spent all of his 20s with impotence problems and he had suffered in silence. I wanted to cry for him.
Instead, I went into full on fix this problem mode. I insisted that he see his primary care physician as soon as he could. The primary care referred him to a urologist who then did testing. Do you know what? This guy had a condition- I don't know what the medical term was- but basically, his blood vessel that led to his penis was pinched. A simple procedure fixed his issue and he was in good healthy working order within weeks of our episode. He offered to show me, but by then I had moved on. The self esteem attack had given me the motivation to start working on me, and I couldn't bring myself to hop into the bed of someone who admitted he didn't like my body. I let him know that as well and we both went on our merrier way, maintaining a friendship that still exists today.
The good news about that experience is that I can happily share with you that sometimes ED issues can be resolved with a quick, simple fix. You just have to be willing to talk about it. With a doctor! You won't be able to address the issue if you don't make the appointment and go to it.
So, let's talk about what a doctor will do if you go in for an appointment about ED.
Medical and Sexual History
Your doctor will likely start with questions about your medical and sexual history. This will allow them to better understand how ED affects you and see whether there might be a clear cause for it. Here is where it is really important for you to be as open and honest as you can. Remember, you are not the only one going through this and your goal is to find a solution.
When you talk with the doc about past surgeries, injuries, lifestyle choices and medicine you take, your doctor can learn about other issues you might have that might lead to ED.
By asking about your sexual history -- your relationships, sex drive, etc and if you ever get erections -- they can begin to figure out whether the problem is more likely to be physical or mental. Again, honesty is key here for getting the trunk help you need.
- blood pressure
- heartbeat
- your pulse at your wrists and ankles to make sure blood flow is normal
-
Cardiovascular/Heart disease -
Hypertension/High Blood Pressure -
Kidney Disease -
Hormonal problems such as low testosterone -
Thyroid function -
Nocturnal erection test- this is the test we previously discussed regarding determining if causation is physical or emotional - Injection Test- also called an intracavernosal test. Your doctor injects a medicine into the base of your trunk that should give you an erection. If you don’t get one, you may have it indicates a problem with blood flow to your penis.
- Ultrasound- is another way a doctor may check blood flow to the trunk. It uses sound waves to create a video of your blood vessels.
- Mental health exam- if your doctor determines it is more likely a mental or emotional issue at the source of the problem they may administer mental health tests for common causes of ED.
This may seem like a lot to go through. But, chances are your doctor will start with the most likely causation tests and go from there. Keep your mind focused on your goal of getting you back to being the your happy trunk self in the days ahead! And, make sure that you advocate. You have the right to request tests if you feel that the doctor is missing anything or you aren't getting the answers you want. And, do not walk out of a doctors office with a prescription if your doctor isn't doing any or all of the above. A pill is not going to resolve your issue in the long term and you want to know what is going on before you decide how you are going to treat it.
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